


The Winchester Way

by reigningqueenofwords



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-16
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-10-11 09:05:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17443946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reigningqueenofwords/pseuds/reigningqueenofwords





	The Winchester Way

Sitting at the bar, John stared at the beer in his hand. He’d lost count of how many he’d downed by now. It had started off a way to get the thought of you underneath him from his thoughts, his mind wanting to wander to what life had once been like- what life would have been like now had he not called off the wedding.

As the alcohol flowed this his system, he imagined how you felt that last night. How much you were hurting. He saw the pain, and the anger, but now he knew it wasn’t just for you. It was for your unborn child. And, instead of throwing it in his face, you’d walked away. You decided to give him what he wanted- an out.

He thought to how the boys did the things he should have done. How they stepped up for their youngest sibling, and part of him was damn proud at how long they were able to hide this. Now that he knew, John realized that there’d been little signs that things were off, but he’d brushed them aside.

Brushing his hand through his hair, he sighed. His daughter’s name kept playing over and over in his mind. He had a _daughter_. He still couldn’t grasp that. Out there, in the same fucking town, was a little human being with his DNA, who had no idea who he was. She clung to Dean like he was her knight in shining armor, and clearly, he’d been there for you.

He downed the rest of his beer and licked his lips. Getting up, he decided it was time to get back to the motel and face his boys. How hadn’t they cussed him out by now was beyond him. At least Sam. Sam had no issues getting in his face, and had held back. John was slightly impressed.

* * *

The bar was only around the block from the motel, but it still took him a bit to get back. He was walking slowly, half debating about stopping for a 6 pack on the way. As he neared the motel, movement caught his eye. The hunter in him forced him to look up, and he saw Dean leaving your room, your arms around him. You kissed his cheek, a soft smile on your lips.

John’s eyes followed his oldest as he walked away from your room, and into his own just doors down. Without a second thought, his feet were leading him towards you. He had to see you. What his plans were for after that hadn’t occurred to him. All that mattered was the present.

Standing in front of your door, he took a deep breath and knocked. The sound seemed so much louder than it actually was. Then it hit him- would Alessa be sleeping? Was he about to wake her up? He knew that a cranky toddler was pure hell at times. He wasn’t given a chance to contemplate the idea long when the door opened. There you stood, no make up, hair thrown up in a ponytail, in a loose shirt, and sweatpants.

Your arms were crossed over your chest as you stood in the doorway. “What do you want, John?” You asked, voice low. That alone told him that you didn’t want to wake her, which was probably why Dean had been in your room.  

What did he want? His mouth suddenly felt dry, and his tongue heavy. You rolled your eyes and were about to shut the door in his face when his hand shot up, his palm hitting the door. “Wait.” He finally breathed the word. “I-I just need to talk to you.”

“What about?” You hissed. “Because frankly, you’re lucky I’m not calling Dean back over here to drag your ass away from here.” Hearing you threaten to have him pulled away from you killed him, but he’d done this to himself.

“Just give me 5 minutes. That’s it.” His eyes were pleading with you, and you caved.

Sighing, you leaned on the doorframe, the door resting against you. “Five minutes. As soon as that’s up, this door is closing.” You warned him, glancing at the clock in the room. “So, what is it?”

John composed his scrambled thoughts. “I know what I did was low, and pathetic.” He started, watching your jaw clench. “I just wanted you happy. I had every intention of going through with it, just to see you get the life you wanted…but I couldn’t I couldn’t keep on lying to you like that. You deserved so much more.”

“Is this you talking, or the beer?”

“Me. All me, sweetheart.”

You shook your head. “Don’t ever call me that again.”

With a nod, he went on. “I fuck everything up. Okay?” He was trying to keep his voice down. “You? Alessa? You’re both better off without me. Ask the boys! I’m not father of the year material. I’m surprised either of them still talk to me, Y/N. Or…I’m surprised that Sam does. He hates me. I don’t blame him.”

Your head went back. Moving to the side, you let him in. “I fucking hate you, too, sometimes, you asshole.” You told him, shutting the door. “Sit down, I’ll get you some water.” Despite it all, you had been in love with him, and he was Alessa’s father.

John watched as you grabbed one of the little disposable cups and moved to the bathroom sink to get him some water. His gaze went down his hands, which had so much blood on them from over the years. How could they ever be responsible for raising another human being, and not screwing them up, as well? He was torn from his thoughts by the sound of movement from the other bed. Looking over, he was met with the eyes of his daughter.

Alessa’s eyes widened. “MOMMY!” She called out.


End file.
